Our Punctuations in Life

Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed are real-life stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. In this episode you will hear about Our Punctuations in Life.

                                                                                       
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Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode #234 of Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. In this episode, you will hear about Our Punctuations in Life. 

Our Punctuations in Life

Why did you suddenly ask me out after nearly ten years? It makes no sense to me! After only a couple of dates, you asked me to marry you. I said I would need to think about it, and then you said, "How long do you need to think about it?" One snippet of what happened already included periods, question marks, commas, an exclamation mark, and quotation marks. Punctuations are everywhere in our lives! 

Keith asked me to marry him, but he never coupled it with an engagement ring, so why did he ask? Why was Anson so anal and controlling? How come I could not feel any chemistry with Evan? Why did Devin cheat on me after nine years together? Brett said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, but why couldn't he even give me a full-body hug? Sky said he was planning to come to America, but why didn't he come? Where is he? Everett and I spoke on the phone for four hours weekly and got to know each other well; how could he not ask to meet me in person?

Why am I the black sheep of the family? Why am I alone when I have had six marriage proposals? Why do I keep having so many adversities? Haven't I proven I can overcome them all? Why are the spirits still testing me? Why can't I lose weight easily? Why am I not skinny? How come I could not succeed in business when I worked so hard for five years? I wonder, I wonder.

Mysteries and curiosities fill me with so many questions. I ask because I want to know. I don't have answers to the questions I just asked, so they remain questions. If the answers had facts, I could find answers online or in books and get statements that end in periods, which would be the end of the questions. 

Periods end a complete thought; that is what is good about them. But if you have something you don't want to end, a period is unfortunate. One could lose all hope. Goodbye. I hate you. He hated her so much that he chopped her into pieces and threw her in the river. She died on April 17, 2024. Some periods are so finite. Others could make your eyes pop out and give you eye-opening moments. Mom tossed me over to Grandma, but it was good because that was where I got the love and care my mother could never give me. Devin cheated on me; luckily, I never married him. I never liked to turn around after I said goodbye to others, and when two boyfriends twenty-plus years apart asked why I didn't turn around, a shocking eye-opening moment came when writing about it: My mother never turned around when she left me. I was never close to my other grandmother, but luckily, before she died, she taught me an incredible lesson: My worth is not determined by others; I decide it, and I choose it.

I pause to think. My grandmother's dying words hung on me until I understood them many years later. Every pause is like a comma. You have lots to say but need to catch your breath before completing the expression of a thought. I thought about becoming a writer but never wrote one word to a story until over ten years later. After publishing ten books, I pause to ponder its meaning; could I celebrate such an accomplishment when my stories are filled with so much adversity? I broke up with Russ by text messaging, but I paused because he never bothered to call to discuss further; I would look left and right because I was afraid he would suddenly appear before me. After all, he has done it before. Before I moved to California for love, I stopped to think and think. Before I quit the career I loved to go into business, I pondered for two years about it before I made the move. That was a big comma or pause. I was harassed three times in three months; I paused to think, why is this happening to me? My next thought was that the spirits were giving me opportunities to stand up for myself and demonstrate more courage to face my adversities.

Questions remain when there are no answers to questions. Commas remain when I must pause again and again. Periods stay when it is the end of something, or I have completed a thought. Questions ask, commas pause, and finite periods sometimes frustrate me, and I want to scream so the exclamation mark appears before me.

I throw my hands up to the spirits, asking why I could not momentarily overcome travel bans from the pandemic. "Why are you still testing my ability to overcome?! Haven't I proven my strength?! Why haven't I found the one?! Help! I need help! I am so angry at my boss! I am humiliated! I lost my house! My boyfriend cheated on me! My bank account is empty! I can't take this anymore! Exclamations of frustration surround me, but there are positives to exclamations, too.

After struggling for five years in the business, I finally won two awards! I finally qualified to go on stage to share my story and motivate others! I finally found a way to get to college without family help! I made it past the travel bans! I finally moved despite travel bans! I inherited some money from my ex! I have traveled to eighteen countries and counting! I am living in paradise, living a carefree and worry-free life! I am in love! I passed the test! I have never been so at peace as in Bhutan! I wrote ten books in four years! I am moving to California, and I am in the clouds! Exclamations can show happiness and excitement. It is incredible how it can also show fear and frustration, too.

Which punctuation lives in my life more than another? I pause. I ponder. I don't know! I shall meditate and muse over things people have said to me, which remain in the recesses of my memory. Devin said, "You are beautiful inside and outside." He made me feel beautiful. Devin also said, "I see us growing old together." He ended up cheating on me and breaking my heart. Russ said, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I broke up with him, and he never bothered to discuss it. Grandma Betsy said, "You matter; don't let anyone take away your importance." Her wisdom helped me move forward with a smile. Keith, my first soulmate and best friend, said, "Three words to describe you are fighter, fighter, fighter." I hate what he said, but he was right. A woman in a personal development class said, "Chocolate or vanilla?" I learned that we always have a choice. Grandma Sandy said, "You are stupid like a pig; you come from your father, so you are stupid." I believed it for over fifty years. I said, "I have a voice," when I began my speech. I was shocked that some audience members in Toastmasters International said they understood how it felt to be unheard like me. I once told a group of students, "I am this fat because I eat naughty children." Years later, when I ran into them and lost considerable weight, I couldn't believe that one said, "Teacher, have you digested all fifty of your naughty students?" Be careful; someone can remember what you say, and they will quote you!

I never thought I had an abundant life until Everett told me. I only knew Everett for three months, but we spoke two times a week for two hours each time. We came to understand each other well. The precious gift Everett gave me was for me to realize that my life is filled with abundance. I pondered how he explained how my life is abundant; I rejoiced that there is meaning in a life I once thought too miserable. 

I never thought my life was admirable, but how Everett said it made sense, though I can barely acknowledge any greatness! Everett said that finding a way to get myself into college took creativity and bravery. It did. He said for me to last five years in a business where I hardly made much money took tenacity, determination, resilience, and courage. It did. He said I jumped out of my comfort zone to talk to strangers and go to many unfamiliar places took fearlessness. It did. He wished he had half my courage and creativity because I lived life, had some fun, and learned so much. He wished he did and didn't. I did, and though it was rough at times, I am glad for all the experiences. Though I still feel the pain from past adversities, Everett convinced me that living life with all the ups and downs and twists and turns is what makes for an abundant life. Indeed, my life is filled with many questions (curiosity), commas (pauses), periods (endings), exclamations (excitement), and memorable quotes (dialogues).

Key Takeaway: Though our lives can reflect all the punctuations of endings, questions, pauses, excitement or fear, and more, they all spice up our lives.

Next week, you will hear a new real-life story called Once Ashamed. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed, please text someone and ask them what they think about this podcast, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!