When I Made Them Cry

Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed are real-life stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. In this episode you will hear about When I Made Them Cry.

                                                                                       
Website: https://inspiremereads.com
Books: https://amazon.com/author/emily-kay-tan.2021_

Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode #218 of Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. In this episode, you will hear about When I Made Them Cry.

When I Made Them Cry

My travel buddy Lydia sobbed when I shared about my stint in business. Her tears were most unexpected. I was only sharing my experience and had no intention of making her have such an emotion. My good friend, whom I've known for over thirty years, shed tears when I shared how I enrolled in college. I had never seen Selina cry, so I was shocked at her reaction. My new pal Ellie cried when I shared about a dream I've had ever since I was a kid. I never expected such a reaction. Lydia, Selina, and Ellie each cried when I shared something. I felt guilty for making them cry, but I did not try to make them cry. It puzzled me; I did not understand why they cried when whatever I shared had nothing to do with them. I needed to figure out why because their responses made me feel so bad that the uneasy feeling lingered. I didn't want to be the person who made people cry. 

Though Lydia and I only took a couple of trips together, the time spent together was nearly twenty-four seven when we were together. That meant we spent a lot of time together and had a chance to have many conversations. Though I had a long career in teaching, and Lydia taught some, too, I shared about my stint in business. Because we both loved adventure, we talked about other travel experiences, and soon, I spoke of my stint in business, an adventure of a lifetime. I shared about what I did, what I learned, and the many things I did outside my comfort zone. Lydia listened with wide eyes.

I thought Lydia found my experience intriguing because she listened attentively, but she let me know she was amazed at my bravery for what  I did that was outside the box for me. I said, "I was a quiet and shy girl most of my life, so for me to get out there and talk to strangers and knock on doors to try to get customers was frightening, distressful, unnerving, and challenging. Making the initial contact or greeting was hard enough, but the rejections of a "no thank you" were often most disheartening when they happened repeatedly. If I didn't sell, I could not put food on the table." 

Seeing that Lydia looked a bit sad, I shared about the adventures of going to different places to see and meet people so I would have the chance to share about my business and products. Lydia smiled and looked like she wanted to join in on the fun of going to various places and meeting new people; I wouldn't have minded the company!

Since Lydia wanted to hear more, I continued with more details about the good and bad of trying to make sales. After sharing some fun moments, I began sharing some distressing moments. As much as I utilized my creative skills to find locations or activities where many people gathered so I could talk to prospective customers, there were many more "no thank yous" than yeses. Since I was a hard worker, I didn't mind all the planning and effort to connect with people. The challenge was talking to strangers, but I worked on my people skills; I studied how to start conversations and improved with much practice interacting with strangers. However, try as I might, I faced hundreds and hundreds of nos or rejections. Lydia started sobbing.

"Oh my goodness! Why are you crying, Lydia?" It is my story. It has nothing to do with you!" "But you worked so hard to learn how to talk to people, where to find them, when to meet them, and then to get so few yeses hurts!" exclaimed Lydia. "True, the no's were discouraging; they made me question my abilities and worth. They made me go hungry often, but the more no's only made me hurry to talk to more people to find the yeses," I said. I couldn't fathom how anyone not in my business could feel my pain; it puzzled me.

I hungered for success; I knew I could make a lot of money if I succeeded. "But it was so hard; why didn't you just quit?" asked Lydia. "Yes, it was tough, but I saw many people make millions of dollars, and I wanted it; I wanted it not for what I could buy, but for the chance to qualify (by my income) to get on stage to say I did it, I did it. I struggled and got beaten down but triumphed over adversity, and you can, too. I wanted to inspire others to greatness; it was my ultimate dream. I persisted and struggled for five long and painful years until I triumphed with a five-digit monthly income. The income qualified me to give a speech on the company's stage. Finally, I had a chance to tell my story of struggle and hunger for victory and to inspire thousands. The many tears that rolled down Lydia's eyes baffled me. Her expressions of emotions were incomprehensible to me, but I would later understand.

My dear friend of thirty-plus years, Selina, invited me to accompany her to visit her gravely ill friend. She wanted to lift his spirits and brought food and things he liked. I had previously shared with her that I wrote some stories for my Toastmasters International class or meeting. I had to share my stories in front of others to practice my public speaking skills. Selina asked me to bring my stories to read to her sick friend. I supposed it was for entertainment or to cheer him up as he was bored at home. I was happy to comply.

After arriving at her friend's house, Selina cheered him up with food and pleasantries. She then asked me to read my stories. Since I did not need to share it from memory, like giving a speech as I did at Toastmasters International, I was glad to just read it.

My first story, The Lost Voice, introduced who I am. Selina wanted to hear it because I had told her I had written a story where it was the first time I moved myself. I had given the speech, quivered, and shed a few tears when I gave the speech before. I even won first place when I went to a speech competition for the first time and shared that story. Selina wanted to hear that story that had me win first place. 

Today, I smile. It is the first story I shared on my podcast, and that episode has the most listeners or downloads. And it is an introduction to who I am! I previously named it as I Have A Voice. I smile again. I am finally expressing my voice in writing through published books and in my podcast called Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed.

I digress. But back to Selina and her friend, they said it was good and not much more. However, Selina said, "Come on, read us another one." I could only guess that Selina liked my first story and wanted to hear more, but she did not express much.

I read another story; this time, it was about how I found my way to college. The accomplishment was not that I got into the college of my choice, nor was it that I eventually graduated from college. It was how I was able to finance my college education with my own wits. 

When I finished reading the story, Selina shed tears of sadness. "Emily, you never told me that your parents and relatives didn't help you pay for college," said Selina. "Why would I want to share that? It is embarrassing! It would be letting you know that I have a horrible and uncaring family. And people tend to judge people by their families," I said. Selina wiped her tears, only to have more tears well up. 

"Emily, I am sorry you feel that I would think less of you just because you have an unsupportive family. You are amazing. I couldn't have cooked up what you did to get yourself to college," said Selina. Then Selina laughed. She was crying, and now she was laughing. "Why are you laughing?" I asked puzzlingly. "You just opened the Yellow Pages, randomly called a lawyer, and said you wanted a divorce from your parents because they were not going to help you finance your college education!" chuckled Selina. Selina, her friend, and I were all chuckling, and the sadness in the air disappeared.

Selina's friend asked about my train of thought to get me to get the finances. Now, I was the one laughing loudly. I told them I didn't know what my train of thought was! The seventeen-year-old me did what I did, and one thing led to another. I had no one to help me, so I searched the Yellow Pages. I didn't know why I chose to call a lawyer, and I still don't know why! However, the stars twinkled over me in the darkness to give me some luck. The lawyer took me seriously and told me to go into his office. I dashed off to catch a bus downtown and found the lawyer. After knocking on his door, I opened it to see him stand up from behind his desk. In his brown three-piece suit, he looked serious, and I had a serious problem.

I only spoke with the lawyer briefly, and he had a solution for me. Even today, I am amazed at the solution he gave me. I never could have had the knowledge to come up with it. Going to college was my ticket to a brighter future, so I got the ticket because the lawyer, a stranger, saved me that day. Selina chuckled, "But all that couldn't have happened if you didn't call that lawyer, Emily. You are one smart and amazing cookie!" laughed Selina. I made Selina cry, but I made her laugh, too.

Ellie was an acquaintance from work, but years later, we reconnected and became friends. I find this friendship to be a new one where she knew little about me as opposed to my friend Selina of thirty-plus years. So, when she shed tears, it was most unexpected, shocking, and baffling.

It was the first time Ellie had come to my home in four years. I hadn't seen her for over six years. I didn't know her well, but I invited her into my home because my new home was my sanctuary. I wanted to share its peaceful ambiance with others. I showed Ellie my home and made comments along the way. 

Sitting on my bed were my babies, my teddy bears. There, I said, are my babies Emily and Richard. They represent the family I always dreamed of having. I brought Emily and Richard over to Ellie, who stood at the entrance to my bedroom. "Aren't they cute? I've had them for many years now, at least seventeen years. I once took a personal development course, and the assignment was to make something representing my dream, like a dream board. I had an idea and happily went shopping to get the representatives. I found a Papa Bear, Momma Bear, Girl Bear, and Boy Bear. I bought them all! I laughed at my silliness as a grown woman buying them, but I wanted them. They represented the family I never had. It wasn't just a family of my own; it was because I never belonged to my parents' family, so I never had a family. Richard and Emily give me warmth and love by just looking at them; aren't they cute?" I asked Ellie. Ellie hugged Richard, Emily, and me; we were all squished together, and then she cried. "Oh, my goodness, don't be sad for me. It's okay; I am okay with it," I said. I couldn't believe Ellie was crying for me; it was a most unexpected reaction. I wondered why and later asked her for clarification.

I didn't understand why Lydia, Selina, and Ellie cried at the time they cried, but I later did get the answers from them.

Lydia sobbed tears about my business stint because she knew what it was like to struggle long and hard in attempts to get what you want and find the goal so distant. She also cried tears of joy that I finally made some money and realized my dream of speaking on stage to inspire others. Lydia said I gave her hope to achieve her dreams.

Selina shed tears of sadness for my lack of family support and that I did not tell her about that part of my life. Mixed with tears of sadness were tears of gladness that I found a way to overcome the challenge of finding how to finance my college education. Selina said I moved her with my creativity and bravery in overcoming the challenge. It reminded her to press on and find solutions, no matter how outlandish they could be, when she faced her own struggles.

Ellie cried because she identified with my feeling of having a biological family that did not feel like a family at all. She was sad for me and offered to be a member of my family where there was warmth and care. Now my new friend and I adopted each other as sisters! More tears, but they were tears of joy that rolled down.

I made Lydia, Selina, and Ellie cry. I felt bad but learned that it was not bad news. It was enlightening! I was surprised and honored that my experiences, bad experiences, could be a source of inspiration for others. They contribute to my purpose or meaning in life. My narratives could move and inspire others or give some food for thought to move forward to see many stars amid the darkness.

Key Takeaway:  Though I made them cry, I was glad the tears were for love or inspiration.

Next week, you will hear a new real-life story called The Missing Hugs. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments Unleashed, please text someone and ask them what they think about this podcast, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!