Twenty-Something (and more)

Eye-Opening Moments are real-life stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. In this episode you will hear about Twenty-Something  and Two Sides of Daydreaming.

                                             
Website: https://inspiremereads.com
Books: https://amazon.com/author/emily-kay-tan.2021_

Chapters

• 0:21 Introduction
• 1:01 Twenty-Something
• 6:40 Two Sides of Daydreaming
• 14:20 Key Takeaways

Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode #149 of Eye-Opening Moments where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. In this episode, you will hear about Twenty-Something  and Two Sides of Daydreaming.

Twenty-Something
The beginning of a successful teaching career and four marriage proposals marked my twenty-something years. It sounds good and exciting, but I remember longing for the juggling of night school and a daytime job to come to an end. I also recall yearning to marry the right person. Why do humans automatically think of the negative and have to work on thinking positively?

I proudly graduated from college at twenty-one. You might think it is no remarkable achievement, but it was a giant feat for me. I financed it by working, gaining government assistance, applying for a student loan from the bank, and with a scholarship from the school. Zero assistance came from family members. Some of them thought I was too stupid to go to college, and others didn’t care if I went to college. Only I cared that I went to college; only I cared about my future.

After four years of college, I got my Bachelor’s degree. I soon started working as a teacher’s assistant and juggled doing that while studying for a teaching credential. Since there was a significant teacher shortage in general and especially for bilingual teachers, I got hired on an emergency credential where I taught full-time before I was fully licensed. The stipulation was that I also had to go to school at night and work on getting my license as soon as possible. 

Working full-time as a teacher, I had student work to correct and lesson plans to write. Going to school at night also gave me homework to do. Both places gave me assignments, and juggling both was not easy. Soon after getting the teaching credential, I proceeded to pursue a Master’s degree. That required more juggling because it was like having two full-time jobs. How did I manage to have time for anything else?

Somehow, in ten years, I had four marriage proposals. At the end of my junior year in college, at twenty, Evan, one of my best friends, proposed. I thought it was a joke when he proposed and unwittingly laughed loudly. I had always thought of Evan as a great friend and nothing more. I never thought he had serious feelings for me until he proposed and left for Hong Kong the day after I rejected him. I didn’t see it coming and was dumbfounded. Years later, Evan would propose several times more even though we no longer lived in the same country.

After college, my first love and I reconnected after two years of no communication. It was as if no time had passed; we were together again, and he asked me to marry him again. The first time was when I was seventeen. I was too young and had the sense to say I needed to go to college and get my degree first. He agreed and said he would wait. Surprisingly, he did wait and proposed again when I was twenty-three. This time, I said I was pursuing a Master’s degree and solidifying my career and was not ready for marriage. Since our relationship was on and off again, there was “space” to date others.

At twenty-five, I met Teo. I was swamped finishing my Master’s thesis and somehow squeezed in time to see Teo. After only three months of dating, Teo brought me to a house he had purchased. In the kitchen, he had a round white table. Teo sat me down and put a set of his house keys on the table. He told me I could use it anytime and move my things in when ready. I suppose that was his way of proposing to me. He said he told his auntie, his only relative in town, that we would soon meet. I was not ready for Teo or in love with him. Sorry, Teo.

Toward the end of my twenties, I worried I would not meet the right person at the right time to marry. I loved Evan as a friend, and our friendship came to span several decades. I loved Keith deeply, but the timing never seemed right, and I always seemed to have a good reason not to marry. Our relationship also lasted several decades on and off again. The time with Teo was a whirlwind romance. It blew by so fast that I didn’t have time to catch my breath and see what had happened. A part of me thought them all surreal, but they weren’t. Evan asked four times, Keith asked at least three times, and Teo asked two times. I have to admit they were serious about marrying me, but I didn’t digest the requests seriously. 

When I met Anson at twenty-eight, he proposed six months later. I laughed and said that he was not serious. He said he was serious. I said, “If you were, you would have a diamond ring.” And off we went to the jewelry store together. I chose the ring, and just like that, we got engaged.

Looking back at my twenties, I am amazed that I got four marriage proposals while busy studying or working in a career I loved. In between all that, I also dated several other guys that did not result in a proposal. If anything, I can say that my twenties were busy.

Two Sides of Daydreaming
Many say daydreaming is frivolous because you are not in touch with reality and not living in the present. But when I went into business, I discovered gold embedded in daydreaming.

There I was among an audience of thousands of people. Each group had a team shirt to represent their team. I was part of the red team. It was noticeable because there were so many of us. In fact, we were the largest team, nicknamed The Sea of Red. When one of our team members went on stage to give a talk, The Sea of Red thundered with applause and excitement. Everyone had a happy face and cheered for the speaker. You see, you needed to make a six to seven-digit income before you were qualified to be on stage to train or give a motivational talk. The team was proud and cheered; the energy was high, and the speeches motivated everyone to go out and make more sales or recruit more people into our network marketing business.

I was never interested in sales or network marketing. The business didn’t even attract me with all the money I could make or the idea of being my own boss. So, how did I end up being in the audience or a part of The Sea of Red? I was curious and attended the national convention. And then I was mesmerized. I was not under the spell of opportunity or money. The audience captivated my attention with their response to the speakers. They were motivated and inspired by the speakers.

As if under the influence of alcohol, I sat there a bit dizzy. Through the roars of applause and the air of jubilation, I began to daydream. I dreamed of myself standing before an audience of thousands, much like the one I was in. It would be dead silence when I started to talk, but when I finished talking, there would be a loud cheer of joy followed by thunderous applause. Through all the bright lights, I could still see the faces of the audience. They looked moved by my stories of struggle to the top before I made my millions. I gave them hope for a brighter future; the popped-out eyes told me so. Most importantly, I motivated and inspired them to get back out there to make those sales, get those recruits, and build an enormous team. The dream to move, touch, and inspire others through my voice escaped my awareness.

Whenever I went to a convention, I was highly mesmerized and had massive daydream attacks. My motivation to be in the business was like no one else, so it was a well-kept secret. Even weekly local meetings energized me to keep working on the challenging tasks of sales and recruits. I wanted that dream to come true badly.

I learned through the business that daydreaming was a good thing. It was a gem; it was a secret weapon to success. Through weekly meetings of motivation and training, I gathered that success begins with a dream you envision. See it, imagine how the picture looks, and develop the image in your mind. That was the seed to make a dream come true.

I no longer thought of daydreaming as a bad thing. I thought it was helpful in the process of using my imagination. From imagination comes a picture in mind; from there, I can take steps to turn them into reality.

My daydream pictures remained in my mind for years, but the day came five years later. I stood before an audience of hundreds and spoke. It was silent when I spoke, and I could see the first few rows of people smiling and hanging on every word I said. When I finished, I could hear the applause I never thought I would hear. I floated offstage; it was surreal. The struggle and difficulties were all relieved from the short moments on stage. It was all worth it.

In the back of my mind, however, the dream was not 100% fulfilled. I stood before hundreds and still did not stand before thousands of people. The daydreams continued to brew silently. The image of thousands of people watching and getting inspired by me persisted in being seen. The daydreams were no longer conscious efforts of imagination but dreams on auto-pilot.

More years passed by before I realized that the dream finally came true but in a different way. I wanted my voice to reach thousands. I wanted my stories of challenges to move, touch, and inspire others. I wanted to give people hope that impossibilities can be turned into possibilities, and I could show that by example through my real-life stories. My dream, my daydream, did not disappear. The images remained. And then, one day, it happened. My voice and stories spoke through a podcast; thousands have now heard it. I rejoice; I must celebrate. It has been a long journey of countless hours of toiling away to write and speak my stories. Dreams can come true, and they begin with daydreaming.

One side of daydreaming is it is useful for pulling out creative and imaginative skills from within. Another side of daydreaming is turning a dream into a reality.

Today, I still daydream and have moments of dismissing them by claiming that they are frivolous. In the next moment, I would remind myself otherwise and justify the importance of daydreaming. After all, I have reaped the benefits of them. Besides the two sides of daydreaming, I found a third one that is most motivating.

Sometimes, before I fall asleep at night, I daydream, or maybe you can call it nightdream because it is daydreaming at night. I would dream of things I want to happen. In the next moment, I would tell myself it would not happen, so I should stop imagining. But wait, I remember that a dream that comes true starts with daydreaming. I continue with my imagination and find something new and exciting. Even if something does not happen now, I can make it happen now by seeing and feeling it in my imagination! Even if it is not yet a reality, I need not dismiss it. Those planted seeds of creativity and imagination will help make it a reality. In the meantime, I remember that dreams are free. They don’t cost you anything, but if you daydream, you will find precious and priceless gems.

Key Takeaways: Though I was busy with career advancement and relationships during my twenties, it was filled with abundant spice. 

Though daydreaming may be considered frivolous, you can also see it as having a great imagination. And imagination can lead to making dreams come true. 

Next week, you will hear about two real-life stories calledThirty-Something and Big Moves. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments, please feel free to share it with others, support the show by clicking on the link in the description, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!