Walking Down the Aisle (and more)

Eye-Opening Moments are real-life stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. In this episode, you will hear about Walking Down the Aisle and The Power of a Dream.


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Books: https://amazon.com/author/emily-kay-tan.2021_

Chapters

• 0:21 Introduction
• 1:05 Walking Down the Aisle
• 9:31 The Power of a Dream
• 14:54 Key Takeaways

Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode #127 of Eye-Opening Moments where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. In this episode, you will hear about Walking Down the Aisle and The Power of a Dream.

Walking Down the Aisle
When you hear the term walking down the aisle, you usually think of a bride walking down the aisle, right? But what about when someone walks down the aisle for a Bachelor's or Master's degree? How about walking down the aisle to get an award? Walking down the aisle with many eyes looking at you usually marks a special occasion. Many people would think walking down the aisle as a bride would be a momentous event, but it was not for me.

My friend Selina said, "Emily, finally, after five different marriage proposals, you are finally walking down the aisle!" As I walked down the aisle, all that ran through my mind was that I couldn't wait for the day to be over; it was stressful. All the wedding preparations, money spent, and relatives coming to town were distressing and exhausting. I wanted to have a good night's sleep. I should have been happy and excited, but I wasn't. I knew I had decided and needed to follow through as I usually did on many things. That didn't sound like a happy bride walking down the aisle. Luckily, I learned I was not alone. One of my best friends said the same thing; she wanted the day over because it was stressful. The reality was not like what you see in the movies.

When I walked down the aisle to obtain my Bachelor's degree, I could feel my face heat up, and my body shook nervously. Strangely, I was almost in tears. I wanted to cry but didn't let the tears come out. Instead, I let out a smile with watery eyes. The struggle to make it happen finally happened. I thought I wouldn't make it to college because I didn't have the funds, but I found a way. When I started college, juggling work and studies was a challenge. For me to find ways to finance my college education without any family support was a triumph. My relatives thought I was too stupid to go to college and thought I wouldn't go to college since I didn't have money. Walking down the aisle was my victory; I proved them wrong. I wasn't too stupid; I got a college degree. I was resourceful and got the finances for tuition. It was my victory walk.

I did it once and was confident that I could do it again. My professor said it would be difficult to complete a Master's degree in two years while working full-time. She implied that if we didn't quit our jobs, it could take three to four years. My inner voice blasted her: Don't you know I have bills to pay and cannot quit my job to go to school full-time? I don't have such a luxury! I have to work and want to finish the degree within two years. She was most discouraging, and her statement made me dislike her. Worse, every time I handed in a portion of my thesis, she would give it back to me many times before she said it was acceptable. I didn't know it would be like that. During my undergraduate studies, I handed in a paper, got a grade, and it was done. Writing the thesis was not the same and wasn't very pleasant! Upon graduation, my little voice said: Ms. Professor, you didn't think I could do it, and I proved you wrong. I rejoiced with a little dance step and had another victory walk.

The most memorable for me was when I did not walk down the aisle; I flew down the aisle. I heard my name announced, but I did not believe my ears. I saw my name on the screen by the stage, but I did not believe my eyes. It was as if I was an outsider looking in on another paradigm I was not a part of. It was surreal. My friend Selina slapped my shoulder, and I woke from a trance. "Get up there!" she said. I ran down the aisle to go on stage to get my award. I could not feel my feet or the weight of my body. I was so light; I think I took flight and flew over there. My business partner Jeremy chuckled and said I saw you run so fast, like the Flash. You swished up there; I didn't know you could run so fast! I didn't know either! 

After getting my award, I sat back down with tears flowing down my eyes, and my whole body trembled uncontrollably. My head was hot, but my hands were cold. It was the strangest sensation I ever experienced. Before I could stop shaking and wipe all my tears away, I heard my name again. I still couldn't believe my ears and questioned myself. I looked at the screen, and there was my name. Still, I sat there until Selina said, "Go!" I dashed back up there to get my second award. Flying down the aisle two times to get awards was unbelievable. It was the first time I simultaneously had tears of joy, trembled uncontrollably, and floated in the clouds like you are in love, but better than that.

Describing my last two trips down the aisle for awards, no one could seem to understand or feel my feelings. Perhaps they were unusual, but maybe if you knew my struggles, you might understand why they were monumental.

I quit my successful, safe, and stable career to join an exciting business that was risky, unpredictable, and unstable. If I didn't sell something, I wouldn't have any income. If I didn't recruit anybody into the business, I wouldn't have the potential to multiply my income. I was in a network marketing business. I struggled to make ends meet for over four years but tenaciously kept at it. I was only able to hang in with savings from my previous career. Finally, in year five, I started to make a monthly five-digit income. As much as I toiled away and tried many strategies to make sales and find recruits, I almost lost hope that I could make a decent income to pay daily expenses. So, when the annual convention came where there would be training and awards, I did not think I would get any awards. After all, I had never received an award from the business before.

After five years, I could not believe I had finally made it to the top ten earners of the company. I got an award as one of the top ten individual earners and another as one of the top ten team earners. It was unbelievable. Though I dreamed of it, I never thought it possible. The shy me, who had enormous difficulty talking to people or engaging in conversations to make a sale or recruit, suffered for nearly five years already. I finally overcame my challenges in talking with potential clients and recruits and made money. The long and painstaking struggle eventually led me to the two incredible rewards that had me swoop and fly down the aisle. 

Though walking down the aisle with many eyes on me did not lead to a happily ever after, walking down the aisle to get my degrees was a triumph, and flying down the aisle to get my business awards was victory and happiness intertwined.

The Power of a Dream
"She had a baby, but they waited too long. It came out deformed. The arms didn't look normal. One appeared as if one was a bit longer than the other. One hand had four fingers instead of five. One moment, I was happy to see the baby, and in the next moment, I was horrified looking at it. Honey, it was our baby. I did not hear any baby crying or making noises when I woke up. I looked in the baby's room, and there was no baby. I could hear my heartbeat pounding. Where was our baby? Wait, was it a dream?"

"Honey, it was a dream," I said. "You don't see me with any baby here, do you? Come on; I have breakfast ready in the nook. Let's eat." Hubby sat down to eat and said it was so real and scary. He quietly ate as if shaken from the dream. Then, as if awakened from the dream, he said, "Honey, let's look for another house." I couldn't believe my ears! 

Hubby and I were living next door to his parents, and I had told him I would not have children with him as long as we lived there. Hubby must have hoped I would change my mind or that nature would have a say because four years had passed. But his desire to have children was strong, and it was on his mind more often than I realized. For my part, I made sure there were no accidents. I was adamant that we didn't have kids as long as we lived beside his parents. As a teacher, I had strong feelings about raising kids. I could not bear having a mother-in-law next door telling me how to raise my kids. Hubby didn't understand my strong stance and thought he could will us into having a baby. But he changed his mind after having the dream that seemed so real to him.

Hubby did not want to risk having a deformed baby. The older I got, the more anxieties he had when I was not pregnant. He'd probably blow the roof down if he knew I was in control of having a family with him. Once, my mom-in-law stopped by because she could hear Hubby screaming at me through her open kitchen window and our bathroom window. Their house was only inches away. Could you have some sympathy for my situation? But that time, I was glad for her knock on the door because she saved me that day. She stopped Hubby from continuing with his screams. Hubby had a bad temper. Whenever things did not go his way, he would get angry and start shouting at me for about two hours. Nothing could stop him. If I talked, he continued. If I was silent, he continued. Nothing I did seemed to reduce or diminish the screaming. But my mom-in-law's knock on the door rescued me that day.

Hubby answered the door. His mom softly said, "Be quiet. Do you want the neighbors to hear you?" Hubby tried to explain himself, but she would hear none of it. She said, "Shhhhhh," Hubby fell silent. For the first time, I witnessed the power of this woman. That day, I realized she was the most powerful woman in the world, and I needed her as an ally to control Hubby's temper. She was the only one who could shut him up with only a few words.

After she shushed him and he walked away like an injured puppy, she asked me, "Does he scare you? When he throws a temper tantrum, just come to my house until he cools off." I said, "As long as he keeps up with such a temper, I will not have children with him." Mom-in-law's eyes shot open wide; she looked horrified. To her shock, she realized I was in control of whether or not she had grandchildren from us. Hubby remained clueless but gave himself hope when he decided we would go house hunting.

Because Hubby had a dream that seemed so real, it scared him to death. He didn't want it to become a reality, so we went shopping for a house. Before the dream occurred, it didn't look like we would ever move or have a family together, but after the dream, it only took a few months before we bought a house far away from the in-laws. I call that the power of a dream.

Key Takeaways: Though walking down the aisle to get married was stressful, walking down the aisle to get my degrees and awards was filled with joy and triumph. 

Though Hubby had a horrifying dream, he awoke to take action to ensure the nightmare would not become a reality.

Next week, you will hear about two real-life stories called Cruelty and Lessons from Poverty. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments, please share it with others, support the show by clicking on the link in the description, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!