They Stole From Me (and more)

Eye-Opening Moments are real-life stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. In this episode you will hear about They Stole From Me and About the Unexpected

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Books: https://amazon.com/author/emily-kay-tan.2021_

Chapters

• 0:21 Introduction
• 1:02 The Stole From Me
• 11:26 About the Unexpected
• 16:42 Key Takeaways

Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode #116 of Eye-Opening Moments where you’ll hear stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives intertwined. They are moments that can lift your spirits, give you some food for thought, or move you. For the introspective mind that likes to reflect, discover, and find solutions or meaning in a complex life, this is for you. I’m your host Emily Kay Tan. In this episode, you will hear about The Stole From Me and About the Unexpected.

They Stole From Me
My first love and my language partner stole from me in the same way. Similarly, my two younger sisters, Hannah and Nina, stole from me. Auntie Tessa and Auntie Cassie stole from me, too. They all took something away from me. Some of the thefts hurt and crushed me, but others left me blissful. Either way, I discovered the stolen gems were worthy treasures to possess.

Keith and Everett both stole my heart. Knowing each one several decades apart, it took connecting with Everett at my mature age to discover why I fell madly in love with Keith, my first love. While strolling in Golden Gate Park in the crisp morning air, I got a phone call from my new friend, Penny. I was excited as it was an unexpected call from someone in another country where I took a few classes. We immediately engaged in conversation and had lots to share. When I shared about Everett, I was tingling and giddy as a schoolgirl. When Penny told me I was in love, I immediately denied it; she insisted several times, and at that moment, I discovered I was in love. The feeling I had with Everett was like what I felt with Keith, my first love. I first knew Keith several decades earlier, and here I was decades later, feeling the same feeling with Everett. I didn't feel that feeling with the boyfriends in between them. It was a unique feeling. Penny said she could hear it in my voice. I then got present to how I was feeling. It was as if I was floating on a cloud. I weighed a bit, but I felt as light as a feather with smiles all over my face. I never thought I could feel that same feeling as I had with Keith. Unexpectedly, I got an aha moment.

I gasped. I couldn't believe it. Everett gave me the same feeling Keith had given me many years earlier. I shared it with Penny; she said I was lucky to have two great loves in one lifetime. Penny confessed that she didn't have one and was engaged to marry. In the next breath, I was sad for her, but I wasn't exactly jumping for joy for myself because I was now single. Keith and Everett are a part of my past, but parts of it were a beautiful past.

Since I fell in love with Keith and Everett, I pondered how they stole my heart. They were two different individuals but had something in common. They both asked many questions about me, and we spent an enormous amount of time conversing with one another. The result was that these two men came to understand me exceptionally well. Other boyfriends did not. I concluded that was how Keith and Everett stole my heart; they could read my mind. It's heartwarming as I reminisce, so these thefts were blissful ones.

My sisters Hannah and Nina stole a few things from me. I had ordered something and was expecting to receive it in the mail but I never received it. It wasn't until many months later that I discovered that Hannah had stolen it from me. She also stole from our older sister, so that was how we found it. A sweater that belonged to our older sister and an audiotape I ordered were in a locked box pried open by our older sister. Hannah and I had a good relationship, or I thought we did, so I was shocked to learn she stole from me. She had no desire for the tape that was of value to me. 

Nina also stole little things that were not expensive but important to me. I was angry about it and more hurt by the act than what she stole, which hurt our relationship. It made me distrust her. It happened many years ago when we were teenagers. Upon reflection as a mature adult, I now see a gem in there. Though stealing is usually not good, I understand why my sisters stole from me. It wasn't that I had some material goods they wanted. It was that they wanted to take something away from me because it was of value to me. They seemed to think I had more in life than them, so they tried to take from me, thinking I would have less that way. I may understand, but it doesn't excuse them. I discovered that they thought more of me than I did of myself. I realized that losing objects doesn't hurt as much as the inflicted pain of distrust. This kind of stealing was hurtful.

Auntie Cassie inadvertently stole from me. When I went into business, I had products to sell, and Auntie Cassie bought from me. It made me very happy, and I felt loved because I believed she showed that she supported my new venture, and I thought she saw the benefits as I did. I was woefully wrong. My company told me she returned them and asked for a refund. I was shocked and called my auntie immediately. I thought it was a mistake, but it wasn't. She said she purchased it from me just to make me happy for a moment. Apparently, she didn't understand its value. I was so hurt that I could no longer talk to her over the phone. I was like crushed ice, broken into hundreds of pieces. I thought she believed in and trusted me, but I was wrong. Heartbroken that she didn't trust me or my brains to know when I had a good product on hand bruised me at first. I loved Auntie Cassie dearly, but this incident deeply wounded me, and the bruises would not disappear. This theft was tragic for me.

I also loved Auntie Tessa dearly. I lived with Auntie Cassie and Auntie Tessa for ten years as a kid. They were like the big sisters I never had. I shared the same bedroom with them for years, and we went on outings many weekends. So, I couldn't believe what Auntie Tessa tried to steal from me. She took a break from college as the pressures of school and work mounted on her. During her year off, Auntie Tessa worked many hours, earning an income. She told family members she was doing that to help me pay for my college tuition. I found this out decades after I graduated and was at her mother's, my grandmother's funeral.

When I heard it, my eyes popped out, and my face was feverish; I was furious beyond belief. I couldn't believe my ears. How could Auntie Tessa tell such a lie? Why did she use me for her lie and not inform me? How could my auntie be so cruel as to use me to cover her tracks? In my mind, I screamed at Auntie Tessa over and over: How dare you try to take away my hard work? How dare you try to take away my accomplishment? How dare you try to take away my greatest achievement? No, you can't take it away from it. It is mine. I struggled to finance my college education one hundred percent on my own. How dare you use me for your lie? How dare you lie about helping me? How dare you, how dare you! Auntie Tessa's attempted theft of my greatest achievement angered me as a nuclear bomb exploded inside me. The sparks burned me into millions of pieces, and my head spun like I was about to faint. Her lie was like dynamite thrown at me, and I would be blown to pieces with blood and skin everywhere. 

Auntie Cassie and Auntie Tessa stole something from me, and both devastated me. Auntie Tessa used me to hide her stance and tried to claim to help me, but the diamond I have is that no one can take away my accomplishments; I own them, and they are mine. Auntie Cassie may not have trusted me enough, but the gem to possess is that I know I am trustworthy and have a brain or sense.

My sisters Hannah and Nina stole objects from me, but the greater pain was how it impacted the relationship. They may want to take from me because they like what I have, whether it be concrete or abstract. It hurt, but the opals that glitter are the ones that remind me that I am a worthy person.

Keith and Everett stole from me, but they warmed my heart and gave me emotional comfort and understanding. They asked and listened; they heard my voice and soul, the most precious treasure. Loved ones stole from me. Each had its unique impact, and each was a gem, too.

About The Unexpected
They say to expect the unexpected. How can you expect it when it is unexpected?! I do not know what is around the corner; I worry and wonder about the unknown, but that does nothing for me. I plan, but I must let life happen, and then I will know. But when the unexpected arrives, I am shocked, unprepared, and thrown into a tailspin. All my careful planning did little to help me when the unexpected knocked on my door and came in. How do you bring order and peace of mind amid the chaos?

I never planned to return to the island nation I left, even though it was once a piece of my paradise. It was time to move on with life and start a new chapter. Paradise no longer felt like paradise. Then, during a personal development class, I suddenly saw perfection within imperfection. I realized I had expected everything to be perfect or the way I wanted, and I had fallen into the trap of perfectionism again. Recalling my ex, who demanded perfectionism, I reminded myself that that was a grave mistake to expect or want. I cannot enjoy life when I expect or demand that everything be perfect. 

Soon, I was back on my paradise island, where I once enjoyed a carefree and worry-free existence. I quickly learned that the paradise I once knew was no longer the paradise I had or remembered. Life was no longer as it was before. I expected to return to where I left off, but that was not to be. Things changed, and people changed; nothing remained the same. My logical brain knew that, but my emotional brain didn’t see it coming. I was shocked and in disbelief that the paradise I once knew or experienced was no longer in my hands. 

I could not believe that the person who once treated me as a valuable human being now treated me like trash, but with a façade of nicety on the outside. I was reduced to mediocre, meaningless work. I  became a victim of circumstances. Squashed into garbage, I was infuriated to be in such a demise. My world spun into another unexpected tailspin. It was unimaginable how someone who once valued me could treat me like the opposite. The unexpected confused and angered me to the depths of fury I had never experienced.

In the midst of my fury, I needed to do something to calm my nerves and make myself feel better. I found solace in unleashing my feelings of anger, humiliation, and betrayal by writing down my thoughts and ripping them into pieces in the garbage can. Before I knew it, I discovered a new passion hidden from me. Expressing my voice through writing yielded a multitude of benefits. It was a place of self-discovery, self-therapy, and eye-opening moments that calmed the waters and brought order to my internal chaos.

Before I knew it, I wrote a book and published it. I thought that would be the end of it, but my fingers wanted to write more. Amid the anger that still burned from within, it seemed like the anger was the fuel that made the fingers keep moving to type words into sentences and sentences into stories of adversity, encounters, and perspectives. As the fingers formed words and sentences, the miracle of epiphanies appeared to give meaning to a challenging life full of ups and downs.

Reading the stories aloud gave me strength and calmness. I discovered the wonder of an inner voice that could show itself on paper with written words and in the outer voice on a podcast.

You may ask the question again. How do you bring order and peace of mind amid the chaos in your life? I found it through writing and podcasting – a newly discovered passion.

Expect the unexpected. Be thankful for the surprises it gives you. Be grateful for the monotonous-free rollercoaster ride it gives you. Remember, the unexpected flexes some muscles to challenge and strengthen you. Now, the unexpected need not distress you; it can rejuvenate you!

Key Takeaways: Though loved ones stole from me, I realized why they did and I gained gems out of them.

Though it is not easy to expect the unexpected, we can smile at the surprises they bring to us.

Next week, you will hear about two new real-life stories called Why I Married Him and Dealing with Failure. If you enjoyed this episode of Eye-Opening Moments, please share it with others, support the show by clicking on the link in the description, or go to www.inspiremereads.com and leave a message. Thank you for listening!